Farewell to the Departed #
“Come, let us give the final kiss, brethren, to the departed…”
— Stikheron from the Funeral Service
For many, their turning to God begins precisely with the funeral of a loved one. The prayers of the funeral service illuminate souls that have become calloused. The rite concludes with the final kiss. Looking for the last time upon the face of one dear to us, we ask their forgiveness for all our wrongs against them. And from our hearts, we likewise forgive them everything, and bless them with the name of God on their final journey.
The hymn of the final kiss is sung, marking the conclusion of the funeral prayers and calling us to say farewell to the departed:
Come, let us give the final kiss, brethren, to the dead, praising Christ. For lo, he goeth forth from birth and draweth near unto the grave, and no longer hath care for the vanity of the many-passioned flesh. Where now are kindred and friends? Behold, we are parted. Let us pray the Lord to grant him rest.
The stikheron responds as if from the lips of the departed:
I go unto the Lord God, my Judge, to stand before the dread tribunal…
The rite of the final kiss varies from place to place. The order common in Central Russia is as follows:
At some distance from the coffin, a lectern (analoy) is placed with a crucifix upon it. While the stikhera are sung, first the priest with the deacon, then the relatives and all the mourners in two lines approach the cross from the left side of the coffin. Each person makes two bows from the waist, then kisses the cross in turn and makes one full prostration to the ground.
After kissing the cross, they approach the coffin one at a time from the right side. Standing before the coffin, without making the sign of the cross, they make two full prostrations to the ground, saying:
“Dear servant of God (or: handmaiden of God), [Name], forgive me for Christ’s sake, for all and in all.” (prostration)
“May God forgive and bless thee.” (prostration)
Then, crossing themselves, they kiss the icon placed in the hands of the deceased, and then — without crossing themselves — kiss the venchik (headband) on the forehead. After this, they make a third full prostration before the coffin, saying:
“If thou hast boldness, pray for me, a sinner (or: a sinful woman), to the Lord God.” (prostration)
When laypeople are present at the funeral of a monk, they simply bow to the ground before the coffin.