It is Customary. #
Bishop Innokenty (Usov)
They say there is one answer that fits any question. That answer is: “I don’t know.” In the same way, there is one excuse that fits any misdeed, any sin, any bad or foolish habit. That excuse is: “It is customary,” “I am not the only one who does this,” “Everyone does it.” Ask, for example, a card player why he plays cards. He will answer: “It is customary.” Why do people jump and whirl around when they hear certain kinds of music? “It is customary.” Why do you swear with vulgar words? “It is customary.” Why do you indulge in drunkenness? They answer: “I am not the only one who does it.” Why do you take bribes, deal dishonestly, oppress the weak and defenseless? They excuse themselves: “Everyone does it.” Try to rebuke thieves, swindlers, prostitutes, the debauched, robbers, and the like, and they too will excuse themselves, saying: “We are not the only ones who do such things.” In short, there is no vice, no evil deed, no bad or foolish behavior that people do not try to excuse with the words: “It is customary” or “Everyone does it.”
When I hear such an excuse, I cannot help but be glad that those who utter it are not living in the days of Noah. For had they lived then, they would never have entered the ark with him, but would have perished with those who deserved destruction. In those days, it was customary to do evil, and everyone did evil to such an extent that God destroyed them by the flood. Noah, in the society of his time, appeared an oddity, a fool, because he went against the common customs, lived entirely differently from everyone else, paying no heed to public opinion or ridicule. Those who simply follow what everyone or the majority does, without considering whether it is good or evil, in Noah’s day would have behaved exactly as everyone else did, except for the family of that righteous man.
Likewise, if they had lived in Sodom, they surely would have acted as the Sodomites did. In that city there was only one strange man who behaved differently from what was customary, who did not do what everyone else was doing. That man was Lot. And what was the result? The result was that all those who acted according to custom and did what everyone else did were consumed by living fire from heaven and sank into the earth. But Lot was saved from that destruction precisely because he did not do as everyone else did, and paid no attention to public opinion or mockery.
Even now there are entire countries where people eat human flesh, and sometimes hunt other people like wild animals for that purpose. One must be thankful that those who mindlessly follow the customs of their surroundings, doing whatever everyone else does, do not happen to live in a land of cannibals — for if they did, they would surely be cannibals too.
And had they lived in Jerusalem at the time of Christ’s trial, they would have been among those demanding His death, because back then everyone was crying out: “Away with Him! Away with Him! Crucify Him!”
No, brethren, if you do anything, do it not because everyone else does it, but because it is good. You must not be the tail of the crowd, nor of your companions, friends, or acquaintances — you must be the head! If companions or even an entire society urge you to commit evil, under no circumstances agree with them, even if they come to hate you and persecute you for it. Rather, try to turn them away from evil. And if that proves impossible — if they try to corrupt you morally — then part ways with them. Otherwise, you will end up regretting it and repenting bitterly — or even perishing altogether.
“Companions,” “friends” — these are good words. But how much evil has been done by those who bear that name! It is usually not enemies or ill-wishers who teach us to do evil, but precisely friends and companions. If they invite you to drink, to revel, to carouse — how hard it is to refuse! If it were ill-wishers urging you, it would be easy to say no. But how can you resist the insistence of your friends? Thus, it turns out that friends destroy more people than enemies. That is why you must be especially careful in choosing your companions. If you cannot find good, virtuous friends, then it is better to have none at all. Let your companions be good books, and the lives of those who lived in holiness — and chief among them, Jesus Christ. With such friends, no one has ever had cause to regret.
You must not blindly follow the suggestions of friends or public opinion, and especially must not use them to excuse your sinful deeds.
In the Prolog there is a story about a certain jester who, in committing evil deeds, excused himself by saying: “I am not the only one who does this. Where people are, there am I also; I am no better than others.” And so he died. When the angels brought him to the place of torment, he was horrified and trembled at the sight of the fires of Gehenna. But the angels said to him: “Why do you tremble? You yourself chose this place. You said: ‘Where people are, there am I also.’ Well, look: here are the people suffering, the very ones with whom you committed iniquity. You are no better than these people.”
This is what comes of the excuse, altogether undeserving of respect, of justifying one’s evil deeds with the expressions: “It is customary” or “I am not the only one who does it.”
A prudent and believing person must not blindly do whatever others are doing, but must reflect on what is good and what is evil. He must do what is good and avoid what is evil, even if the whole world, the entire nation, were against him.
The measure of every action and deed of a Christian must not be human opinion, even if it be public opinion, but Jesus Christ and the holy fathers.
One must not think that Christ is somewhere far away, high above. No, He is near us — nearer even than that: He is within us, and we are in Him. “As many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ” (Galatians, pericope 208), says the holy Apostle Paul. “He that eateth My flesh and drinketh My blood dwelleth in Me, and I in him,” says the Savior (John, pericope 24).
Imagine that Christ is within you, inside you, and that you are clothed in Him — clothed as with a garment, as with the very air around you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, remember that Christ is with you. And by no means do anything that He would not do, and go nowhere that He would not go. For example, you wish to dance. Think: would Christ be dancing with you? If not, then you should not dance. You are being urged to play cards, to frequent taverns and houses of debauchery, to get drunk, to cheat, to lie, to slander, to curse, to fight, and so forth — think: would Christ do these things with you? Of course not. Therefore you should not do them either.
If you begin to do such things, Christ will no longer be with you; God will withdraw from you His grace of salvation. And if He withdraws from you, what could be worse or more dreadful than that?
You must not be guided by the opinion of people, by the opinion of the crowd, but by the opinion of Christ. And His opinion, or more rightly, His teaching, is set forth in the Holy Gospel, in the Apostolic Epistles, and in the writings of the holy fathers. This must be read, studied, and fulfilled. Then you will never err in anything.
Nevertheless, it is sometimes possible, and even necessary, to listen to people and to consider their opinions — but only those people who fulfill the teaching of Christ and are filled with the Spirit of God. You can even sin grievously if you do not heed the opinion of such people and act contrary to them. Judas Iscariot did not consider the opinion of the holy apostles, he was unaffected by their fellowship, he did not listen to his Teacher, he preserved his individuality, he maintained his own character. But what came of it? Everyone knows — and it is frightening even to speak of it.
Thus, it is not always good to remain “true to oneself.” We ourselves cannot serve as the measure of our actions. There must be some objective standard by which to measure the morality of our deeds and actions. And this standard we have in Christ and in the holy servants of God. Let us therefore apply it in practice, measuring every one of our actions and the whole of our life by it.
Bishop Innokenty (Usov) of Nizhny Novgorod and Kostroma, Works, vol. 1, pp. 150–152.