What are the roles of men and women in the family? Under what circumstances can a woman work without harming the family? #

St. John Chrysostom writes that human responsibilities can be divided into two categories: public duties, or tasks outside the home, and domestic duties. Men are generally more suited to the former, and women to the latter. Therefore, in families of that time, the division of responsibilities was typically as follows: the husband spent more time engaged in civic, judicial, commercial, military, and other public activities, while all the care for domestic affairs rested on the wife’s shoulders, even in wealthy households. The wife managed the household staff, planned and distributed all the household work, made purchases and provisions, wove, spun, sewed, embroidered, cooked, cleaned, and so on. It was inappropriate for the husband to interfere in these matters or contradict his wife concerning them, just as it was inappropriate for the wife to interfere in the husband’s affairs.

However, the most important responsibility of the wife at all times has been the care and upbringing of children in faith and piety, as she spent nearly all her time with them. As the Apostle Paul writes to his disciple Timothy:

“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.”
(1 Timothy 2:11-15)

The Holy Fathers interpret this as referring not merely to physical childbirth but specifically to the pious Christian upbringing of children, through which the wife attains the salvation of her soul.

Thus, in the traditional Christian family, husbands were engaged in public duties, earning a living, and providing for the family, while wives raised the children and managed the household.

In the modern and contemporary era, beginning in the West and later in Russia, the traditional family model and way of life have been gradually eroded. Women (and even children) began to work outside the home, and women were increasingly drawn away from their families and homes to take on roles previously considered unsuitable. One driving force behind this was the desire of the state to take over the upbringing of children from the family and the mother, directing it toward a specific ideological agenda. Women were instilled with false values and stereotypes, driven toward materialism, “success,” and “career advancement.” Children became an obstacle for women influenced by this harmful program. Women began to send their children to daycare and boarding schools, “prevent” pregnancies, and even kill their own unborn children. All of this was done for the sake of work, “building a career,” and “shining in society.” Since this way of life is incompatible with the Christian faith, society began to abandon faith on a large scale, especially during the Soviet era. The Lord foretold two thousand years ago that in the end times, “because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.” The societal trends described above are clear evidence of this waning love.

In a society infected with this “new morality,” we are called to preserve our Christian families. We must strive to maintain genuine love in our families, which also means upholding the traditional structure of family life. Therefore, as in earlier times, unless there is extreme necessity (such as illness or the death of the husband), a wife should not work. It is especially sinful for her to pursue a career or chase other “pleasures of life” to the detriment of her family and children.

If, however, a family is childless for a long time due to infertility, I would advise adopting or fostering several orphans to give them parental love and a Christian upbringing.

—Archpriest Vadim Korovin.