Is it necessary to have a spiritual father? Can one change their spiritual father? #

If a family is a small church, then a Christian community is a larger family. Therefore, every Christian must have a spiritual father with whom they can discuss their problems, seek answers to pressing questions, and so on. Without necessity, a spiritual father should not be changed. One should not arbitrarily go to confession with one priest today, another tomorrow, and yet another the day after.

When a trusting relationship exists between an ordinary Christian and a priest, as there should be between a father and his children, the priest knows the needs of his spiritual child. He understands their strengths and weaknesses, what they are capable of and what is beyond them, and what penance they can handle. He can decide whether to grant them leniency, such as in fasting, or whether they are capable of greater spiritual efforts. He knows their inclinations, interests, and preferences. This is why a spiritual father is the one who provides a recommendation for a candidate to enter the clergy or study in a theological institution.

However, a priest is a spiritual father, not the owner of his flock. The faithful are not serfs, and the priest is neither a lord nor a soul-owner. The flock is entrusted to him as a shepherd by the Lord, and he will have to give an account for each one of them. Every Christian is free to choose their spiritual father. A priest is also a human being, with weaknesses, temperament, and a unique character. Misunderstandings can arise between a priest and an individual parishioner. In such cases, the priest has no right to hinder the parishioner from transferring to another priest. On the contrary, he should bless them and help them find a spiritual father better suited to them.

However, if a Christian has committed a transgression and is under excommunication or a specific penance, they cannot seek another spiritual father to ease the penance or lift the excommunication. If someone feels the excommunication is unjust, they will benefit spiritually by humbly enduring their punishment. If a parishioner is excommunicated without being told the reason or the duration of the excommunication, the matter should be appealed to the ruling hierarch or bishop for review. If reconciliation proves impossible or mutual understanding cannot be reached, it is better to recommend that such a Christian change their spiritual father.

— Priest Evgeny Gureev