How can one build a happy marriage? Why is marriage a sacrament? What mystical, mysterious events occur during the wedding ceremony? #

To build something successfully, one must first understand what it is. For example, to construct a building, one needs to know what it is, on what foundation and materials it stands, what dimensions and proportions are required, and what methods and techniques are used in construction. Without studying these aspects, the building won’t last. A presumptuous person may attempt to build a house while neglecting the foundation, geometry, or proper leveling, and may use clay instead of cement to bind the stones. Such a house is unlikely to be habitable—it will likely collapse during construction, injuring the builders.

The same applies to marriage and family. For a marriage to be strong and a family united and enduring, those entering into marriage must understand what it is. Marriage is a divine institution, a sacred representation of the union between Christ and the Church. St. Paul writes about this in the Epistle to the Ephesians:

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

Just as Christ gave Himself for the Church and cannot abandon her to find another, so a husband must not even consider divorce or other women. Similarly, as the Church submits to Christ and cannot leave Him for another Lord, so a wife cannot divorce her husband or seek another man. This is why, at the creation of the world, God said:

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

The second key aspect of marriage, which helps a husband and wife to act rightly and preserve their family, is that marriage is a divine institution. There is a saying:

“Marriages are made in heaven.”

The Lord Jesus Christ Himself said:

“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

With this perspective, any challenges that arise in married life can be overcome. If those entering into marriage place God’s commandments, prayer, and the pursuit of divine grace at the forefront, their married life—like the Christian life as a whole—will not be without its trials. However, their marriage will be strong, and they will be able to overcome disagreements, conflicts, quarrels, grievances, and misunderstandings.

—Priest Mikhail Rodin