How can one save a marriage and restore relationships if they married foolishly, out of passion, or without love? Is such an unsuccessful marriage also considered God’s will, requiring humble submission? #

This question has two parts. What we do is not necessarily done according to God’s will. However, everything we do is allowed by God for our benefit. Both are true. Consider an example: suppose an evil man commits an assault against a woman, and she becomes pregnant. Can we say this happened according to God’s will? Of course not. Then is abortion permissible? Again, no. Did God allow it? Yes, He permitted it. Should one get rid of the unwanted child conceived from such an atrocity? No, one should not.

Marriage is similar. If someone entered into marriage “foolishly,” the sacrament of matrimony was performed, but it later becomes clear that the spouse does not meet certain expectations or that family life brings neither spiritual benefit nor joy, this does not mean one should seek a divorce. Was the marriage God’s will? Perhaps not. Did God allow it? Yes, He allowed it. Can one divorce? No, unless in specific cases that must be discussed separately.

Such a situation should be regarded as a misfortune allowed by God in one’s life. One must ask:

“Lord, why have You allowed this in my life? What do You want to teach me through this?”

When Christ and His disciples encountered a man born blind, the disciples asked Him:

“Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?”

This is a difficult question, one that people often ask in times of misfortune:

“Lord, why me? What have I done to deserve this?”

Indeed, how could a man sin before his birth to warrant such punishment? And if the parents sinned, it seems unjust to punish their son for their transgression. But Christ reframed their question from “why” to “for what purpose.” He answered:

“Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.”

For what purpose? So that the works of God might be revealed. This principle should be applied to everything in our lives. If we believe in a God who is good and loves us, we must understand that for those who love God and are called according to His purpose, all things—yes, all things—work together for good, even an unsuccessful marriage.

Someone who feels they married by mistake, out of foolishness or passion, should ask themselves:

“What works of God are meant to be revealed in my life through this trial?”

Divorce is permissible only in the case of evident adultery. Without adultery, divorce is a sin and, it must be said, a lack of faith.

—Priest Mikhail Rodin