The Spiritual Father #
The life of a Christian is built upon the presence of a spiritual father. A spiritual father is a priest who helps the Christian grow spiritually. It is to him that the Christian usually turns for advice and for the performance of sacramental rites such as marriage, baptism, and others. A Christian does not go to just any priest for confession, but to the spiritual father whom he has personally chosen.
Given the salvific importance of the relationship between a Christian and his spiritual father, the Church grants each person the right to freely choose a confessor: “Choose for yourself a spiritual father according to your heart” (Order of Confession). Such a relationship assumes a high degree of mutual trust between the Christian and the priest-confessor. Choosing a spiritual father should be approached with prayer and discernment. One might first speak with a priest, asking his advice in some simple matter of daily life. However, it is important to remember that the personal qualities of the priest are not of primary importance during confession. In confession, the penitent confesses his sins to God, doing so in the presence of a priest who, in this sacrament, acts on behalf of the Lord and, in a way, stands in His place. The grace of the priesthood gives the priest the authority to absolve sins, regardless of his own personal level of Christian life.
Because of our human nature, the personality of a priest may either draw us to confession or instill distrust, thus hindering repentance.
It may happen at some point in life that we begin to feel a loss of understanding between ourselves and our spiritual father. This is, of course, sorrowful, but it does not excuse us from the obligation to confess our sins. On the contrary, being aware of how insistently the devil seeks to disrupt the harmony of our spiritual life, we must do all we can to restore the lost understanding with our confessor.
However, if the loss of mutual understanding is acknowledged by both parties and cannot be repaired, the question of changing one’s spiritual father may be raised.
One must understand that there must be sufficiently serious reasons to change a confessor—not just a common reluctance to obey him or to follow his counsels and instructions. This is stated in the book The Mystery of Confession.
If a person is nonetheless fully convinced of the necessity to change his spiritual father, then in order to confess to another priest, he must first receive the blessing of his current spiritual father and honestly explain the reasons for such a step. At the first confession with a new spiritual father, before actually beginning the confession, it is necessary to inform him where, when, and with whom the previous confession was made, whether one had received Communion, whether there was any excommunication from Communion, and whether the previous confessor’s blessing was received to transfer to another. After this, one may proceed with confession and recount all past sins—both those already confessed and those not yet confessed—as well as any penances given and whether they were fulfilled.
“In general, having once chosen a spiritual father, a Christian should entrust his spiritual life to the guidance of that priest, confess to him regularly thereafter, and strive diligently to fulfill all his spiritual counsels and instructions,” says The Mystery of Confession.
Praying for one another is a mutual duty of the pastor and his spiritual children. During the performance of the sacraments, especially during the Divine Liturgy, and often in his private prayers as well, the priest commemorates all of his spiritual children—those Christians who have chosen him as their spiritual father. In turn, every Christian strives to remember his spiritual father daily in his own home prayers, asking for his health and the salvation of his soul.