Golden-mouth. Homily 76. On Pentecost Saturday, a Teaching of St. John Chrysostom: That One Should Not Weep Excessively for the Dead

It is fitting to do all things with discernment. One ought not to mourn excessively for the dead, nor to tear out one’s hair, nor to scratch one’s face, as the unbelievers do—those who have no hope of being with God. For the faithful, sorrow is appropriate only if someone dies without repentance; for such as these, even offering memorials in church is not fitting.

But we should indeed grieve over the stingy and the rich who never showed sorrow for their souls while they lived. Yet if someone was generous and charitable while alive, then after death, almsgiving on their behalf is of great benefit to their soul. Concerning this, David the Prophet says: “Blessed is the man that shall deliver his soul from torment by his possessions” (cf. Psalm 48), and again: “A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth.” But judgment shall be without mercy for the unmerciful.

Therefore, everyone should take care in this life for the sake of their soul. For clearly, no one is born possessing wealth, and no one can take anything with them when they die—only their sins shall follow them from this world, while their property shall remain behind for others.

O man, make a memorial for thyself while thou yet livest! Thou hast but one soul, and but one time allotted for life. Say not: “I shall leave my wealth to my children; they will make memorials for me.” For thou knowest not what sort thy children shall be, nor what time shall befall them.

Wealth is like a river—it flows and changes. But whoever fasts and labors for their salvation in this life benefits their soul. Many, through stinginess and evil habits, are deprived of God and destroy their own soul. And many also, while still alive, are stripped of their possessions. Therefore, while the time is peaceful and before misfortune comes, set aside a portion of thy wealth for thy soul, while it is still in thy power, and arrange it for the salvation of thy soul.

On this, the great Dionysius says: if someone has grieved over their sins during their life, then after death, much benefit is given to their soul by acts of charity and prayers. But if an unbeliever dies—he who was an enemy of God during his life—then after death there is no help for him. As David says: “For in death there is no remembrance of Thee: in the grave who shall give Thee thanks?” (Psalm 6:5)

Therefore, let each of the faithful give according to his means for the departed. For it is of great benefit to the souls of the faithful when offerings are given on their behalf to the poor, and when priests and deacons pray and often serve the divine services for them. For the holy apostles commanded that those who have reposed in the faith be commemorated in the holy liturgy. And indeed, great benefit comes to the departed.

All this has been said concerning the faithful. But the unbelieving dead are unworthy of remembrance, and it is never fitting to offer memorials for them. Why then did God command that we offer prayers in this world for all people? Because many in the world are robbers, thieves, adulterers, and full of many evils—but He commanded that we pray for all who are still alive, that they may come to repentance, and for the unbelievers—that they may come to baptism. But concerning the dead, it was commanded that we pray only for the faithful. For if an unbeliever dies, his hope of salvation is lost.

This is why the unbelievers grieve for their dead—because they shall not see the glory of God, nor share in the joy of the saints. Hear what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonians: “Brethren, I would not have you to be ignorant concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him. And so shall we ever be with the Lord.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13–14, 17)

But as for the Sadducees and all the unbelievers, they shall not be with God. This is why the accursed ones mourn. But we who are faithful, let each of us be concerned with our own sins, and let us not grieve many days for the dead. Let each rather mourn over his own soul, preparing good deeds, that we may receive eternal life through repentance.

For the righteous shall pass from death into life, but the sinner—if he die—his soul shall dwell in darkness until the day of judgment. But the souls of the righteous dwell in light.

Many weep out of vanity, and after the funeral they drink and act profanely. But thou, O man—if thou truly mournest—weep in thy own chamber, unseen by anyone. That is a sorrow of the heart, and for thee it shall be profitable. Through that weeping, thou thyself shalt be moved to repentance, and thy sins shall become fearful to thee.

To our God be glory, now and always, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.