Instruction to the Newlyweds #
The beginning of a family is the sacrament of marriage. After the prayers of the wedding rite are completed, the priest reads to the newlyweds an instruction on how a husband ought to care for his wife, a wife to honor her husband, to keep marital fidelity, to do works of mercy, to seek the counsel of their spiritual father, and henceforth to build their shared life near the temple of God.
Listen, children, and I will tell you what the sacrament of marriage means, and how one ought to live in the Christian faith. First of all, children, have the fear of God in your hearts. This fear will teach you to fear God rightly. The commandments of God are these: to love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength—this is the first commandment. And the second is like unto it—to love your neighbor as yourself. And who, children, is our neighbor? Every person who lives in the Christian faith.
Furthermore, children, be meek and humble, for the Lord said: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” Meekness is the mother of wisdom, understanding, and all good deeds. Also, children, preserve purity both of soul and of body; let not the husband be unfaithful to the wife, nor the wife to the husband. In the same way, those husbands and wives who lived before you and lived purely were holy and pleased God and were taken up into the heavens. So too should you, children, live according to the law.
Honor Wednesdays and Fridays, for they are as two angels of the Lord. Keep the Resurrection of Christ with reverence—that is, in holiness—commit not fornication, and on that day practice abstinence. Honor the feasts of the saints, come to church on these days, and be diligent in prayer.
Also, children, be merciful, as your Father is merciful. From your honest labors give alms—give with love and according to your means. If you are wealthy, give more; if you are poor, give what you can. Every Christian is commanded to offer a tenth of what he receives to God. Call often upon your spiritual father, seek counsel from him, that he may instruct you in the good deeds befitting a Christian life. And you, in return, keep for your spiritual father unwavering love and faith.
You, my son (the priest names the groom), love your wife, and correct her often, but be not wrathful with her. If she will not listen, correct her lightly with a rod, but not with malice—teach her gently.
And you, my daughter (the priest names the bride), in all things honor your husband, fear him, give him reverence in everything, and obey him. Always take counsel with him in all matters, for he is your head. As the Cross is the head of the Church, so is the husband the head of the wife. And as the Church is subject unto Christ, so also ought wives to be subject to their husbands—not contradicting them, but being obedient. For to the obedient God grants honor and glory, but to the disobedient—bitter torment.
Let it not be grievous to you, my daughter, to be in obedience to your husband. Be quiet and humble, meek and cheerful, and conduct yourself with modesty.
Receive my instruction as the words of the Lord. If you receive these words, then the mercy of God shall always be upon you, you shall have long life upon the earth, and you shall be glorified by God in heaven, and become partakers of the Kingdom of Heaven. But if you scorn these words and transgress the commandments of God, I shall not be guilty before God—but you yourselves shall receive recompense for your deeds on the Day of the Dread Judgment.