The Sacrament of Marriage #
To deliver man from loneliness, to grant him the joy of communion, to teach him to share the warmth of his soul and to rejoice in the warmth received in return, God created man and woman. By helping one another, living for each other, yielding and sacrificing, husband and wife attain that perfect love to which God has called mankind. The path to this love begins in the sacrament of marriage. The Church crowns the bridegroom and the bride, invisibly uniting them into one, and bestows grace and strength upon them to live for one another and, as one, to serve God and His holy Church.
Crowning consists of two parts: the betrothal and the crowning proper. Before the betrothal, the priest asks whether they are entering into marriage freely and of their own will.
The Betrothal #
The betrothal includes:
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the giving of lit candles to the betrothed;
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the placing of the wedding rings upon the holy altar;
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the giving of the rings to the couple and the thrice-repeated exchange of rings between them.
According to the Church’s Ustav (rule), the crowning is performed immediately after the Divine Liturgy. The bridegroom and bride, following the example of the early pious Christians, strive to prepare themselves for the sacrament of marriage through confession and communion.
In the church, the bridegroom stands on the right, and the bride on the left. Thus is preserved the order and decorum established by God: the husband is the head of the wife, and in the order of standing takes precedence before her.
The priest leads the bridegroom and bride into the church and censes them, calling down upon them the grace of the Holy Spirit, by whose action and inspiration every demonic power is driven away from those being joined in marriage.
Lit candles are given to the bridegroom and bride as a sign of conjugal love and chastity. Holding brightly burning candles in their hands, the couple bears witness that their intentions in entering marriage are pure and sincere. Just as the candles burn with a bright and steady flame, so too must the souls of those entering marriage be radiant, pure, and chaste. And just as the flames burn fervently, so must the bridegroom and bride burn with love for one another and for God throughout their married life.
The priest brings the rings from the altar, from the holy table, as a sign that the marriage is performed with God’s blessing, and that the couple entrusts their destiny to the will of Divine Providence, seeking blessing for their betrothal from the Lord and from His holy altar. Through being placed upon the altar and touching it, the rings are sanctified.
After the prayers for those being betrothed, the priest takes the rings from the altar, blesses the bridegroom and bride with them, and places them in their hands. In antiquity, the ring served as a seal and a confirmation. The priest then exchanges the rings three times between them, thereby establishing mutual trust between the bridegroom and bride: from this moment they entrust to one another their rights, their honor, and their peace. From this point forward they will live for one another, sharing all things. Just as the ring has no end, so too shall this mutual bond between them be unending and everlasting.
The Crowning #
The betrothal is performed in the narthex or western part of the church. For the crowning, the priest leads the couple further into the church, to the analogion (lectern) upon which lie the Holy Gospel and the Cross. In this, the Church teaches that in all the paths of their life, in all their undertakings and labors, the couple should ever have before their eyes the law set forth by Christ in the Gospel, and that in the wounds of Christ the Savior, crucified upon the Cross, they may seek comfort amid the troubles and sorrows of this temporal life.
With the prayer from the Psalter, “Blessed are all they that fear the Lord,” the bridegroom and bride are reminded of the blessed state of those who fear God in their marital and family life. The fear of God is the cornerstone and mystery of future family happiness. Thus, true happiness in the marital union depends on how the spouses conduct themselves in relation to God and His holy commandments: if the newlyweds revere God, walk in His ways, and keep His commandments, then the Lord Himself, by the power of His omnipotence and wisdom, will arrange both the inner and outer well-being of their lives.
The betrothed bridegroom and bride stand upon the podnózhie—a bright cloth spread on the floor. This one shared cloth beneath their feet serves as a reminder that, in life, they are to share equally in all things: in joy and in hardship alike.
In the prayers recited by the priest, the God-blessed marriages of the Old Testament are remembered. The priest calls down upon the couple the same divine blessing that was granted to the righteous ones of old, and he prays that the Most High may preserve the couple as Noah was preserved in the ark, as Jonah in the belly of the whale, and the three youths in the Babylonian furnace. He asks that God grant the newlyweds harmony of soul and body, length of days, an unfading crown in the heavens, blessing from above as dew from heaven and abundance from the fatness of the earth, and that their home may be filled with wheat, wine, and oil and every good thing—so that they may also have enough to share with those in need. At the same time, the pastor of the Church pleads with the Lord to remember not only the couple themselves but also their parents, for the prayers of parents establish the foundations of homes.
The most solemn and significant moment of the crowning is the bringing forth of the crowns from the altar. The crowns are symbols of royal dignity. The bridegroom and bride are blessed to be as princes in their household, rulers over their future offspring, and, along with this honor, are entrusted with the care and raising of their children. In ancient times, crowns adorned the heads of victors. The placing of crowns upon the heads of the bridegroom and bride serves as a reward for their chaste lives before marriage.
As the crowns are placed upon them, the priest proclaims: “O Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor.” In this way, the Church calls down upon the couple the grace of the All-Holy Spirit, which sanctifies their union, their natural procreation, and the upbringing of their children. From this moment, the bridegroom is now the husband of his bride, and the bride is the wife of her bridegroom; henceforth they are bound by the indissoluble bonds of matrimony, according to the unchanging word of Christ the Savior: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6).
After the reading of the Gospel, a new exhortation is given to the couple: a chalice with red wine is brought forth. The priest blesses it and gives the bridegroom and bride to drink from it three times, signifying that from this moment on, in all the days of their married life, everything should be held in common—one heart, one will, and shared participation in all things: in joy and in sorrow, in labor and in rest, in struggles and in crowns of victory.
Then the priest leads the newlyweds three times around the analogion in a joyful procession. This circling expresses their rejoicing. The repeated circle is a symbol of eternity—the bridegroom and bride pledge to preserve their marital bond throughout their lives and never to dissolve their union for any cause. During this procession, the troparia are sung: “O holy martyrs, who nobly suffered and were crowned…”—in which marriage is likened to an honorable reward for the struggle of chastity and self-restraint. The circling is performed thrice, in honor of the Holy Trinity, which is thus invoked as a witness to the vow of the spouses.
At the end of the procession, a litany is chanted and the final blessing (dismissal) is given. The crowns are then removed from the newlyweds. The removal of the crowns signifies the completion of the sacrament of marriage. The bridegroom and bride greet one another with a kiss as a sign of mutual love.