Terror!
By Bishop Innokenty (Usov)
What if all people knew about every thought, word, and deed you have ever conceived or performed? What shame, fear, and suffering you would have to endure! The mere thought of this is unsettling and dreadful. Yet, inevitably, there will come a time when all our deeds and words, all our most secret thoughts and feelings—even those we have long forgotten—will be revealed before our eyes and the eyes of all people, both those we know and those we do not. As we know from Holy Scripture, this will happen at the fearful and just Judgment of Christ, when, in the words of sacred hymns, “the books will be opened, and all secrets will be laid bare.”
These “books” will not be like those invented by humans, nor will our deeds be recorded in them as we might write, noting that such-and-such a person did this or that at a certain time. No, all our deeds are recorded as if captured in a photograph or, more accurately, as if reflected in a mirror. Just as objects standing before a mirror are reflected and visible in it, so too, and even more vividly, will all our actions, all the movements of our body and mind, all our deeds and words be visible. There is nothing strange or extraordinary about this. It can even be explained physically. It is a universally recognized law of nature that not a single atom, not the tiniest speck of dust in the world, can be destroyed by anyone or in any way. The number of atoms or infinitesimal particles—into which visible objects can be divided and from which the universe is composed—that God created at the beginning of creation remains the same: not one of them has been destroyed, nor can they ever be destroyed.
This, among other things, highlights the difference between God and His creation—humankind. God created everything from nothing and can reduce everything to nothing, while a human cannot create even a single speck of dust from nothing, nor can they destroy a single speck, reducing it to nothing. Everything that seems to be destroyed, in reality, is not destroyed but merely transformed. Not only visible objects or matter but also their energy and phenomena are preserved. Why, for example, do we see objects and phenomena? Because rays emanate from them, which we perceive. These rays travel endlessly through space, for “His world (God’s) has no limit.”
No obstacles—neither walls, nor stones, nor earth—can stop them. Because of this, they could be seen even through opaque objects, through wood, iron, earth, and so forth. If we do not see them through such objects, it is not because it is impossible to see through them, but only because our vision is too imperfect: it is designed so that we cannot see through them. If we possessed perfect vision, if we could see all objects and phenomena not only at close range but also at vast, limitless distances, then undoubtedly, even now, we would see not only what is happening before us at this moment but also what happened yesterday, a week, a month, or even hundreds and thousands of years ago—in short, we could see all our own and others’ deeds and actions.
But our bodily, sensory vision, of course, does not possess such capabilities; however, our mental or spiritual vision can possess them to a much greater degree. Therefore, at the Last Judgment of Christ, when we will see not only with bodily eyes but also with spiritual ones, we will behold all our own and others’ deeds, words, and thoughts in the form in which they were performed—as clearly as we now see ourselves in a mirror, only to an even greater degree. In the account of the trials of the Venerable Theodora, it is said that during her ordeal, her deeds were presented to her along with the faces, places, times, and circumstances—when, where, and how she committed any sin.
Thus, all our deeds, performed throughout our entire lives, will be presented. Everything we have ever done or felt—whether we walked, sat, lay down, moved, spoke, thought, grew angry, hated, loved, prayed, or were idle—all of it is recorded, captured, and imprinted as if in a mirror, indelibly, for all eternity. What we are doing right now—me standing and speaking, you listening, all that we are thinking at this moment—all of this is being recorded, imprinted in an ineffable way. All of it will be revealed at the Last Judgment, and we will see it as we see now, or even more clearly, because now we see only the outward actions and movements of people, but then we will see their very thoughts and even the slightest stirrings of their hearts.
What extraordinary fear, what terrible shame, and what unimaginable inner torment will seize those who have done evil, lived dissolutely, lied, deceived, indulged their passions and base desires, all while striving to appear pious or at least respectable before others! Even now, when just one hidden deed of ours is discovered, how painful it is for us! But when all our secrets are laid bare before the entire world, not for a moment but forever, known and visible to all—what will we feel then? What will sinners feel when, on top of all this, the just Judge turns away from them as from the accursed, as from those rejected, unworthy of mercy because of their evil deeds, their impiety, hardness of heart, despair, and lack of repentance?
Yet this very fact—that all our deeds, words, and thoughts will be revealed before the eyes of the whole world, visible to us and to all rational beings—this fact, which will be a source of terrible torment, suffering, and shame for unrepentant sinners, will, for those with pure hearts or consciences, for the saints, become a source of inexpressible joy and bliss, unspeakable delight and glory. Even now, we are gladdened when our honest intentions are understood, when our pure deeds are seen and appreciated, when our good works are known and lead others to glorify God. How much greater, then, will be the joy, the delight, and the bliss of the righteous when all this is revealed to an extraordinary degree before the entire world, before people and angels! And when the Most High and just Judge glorifies them as His blessed ones, as worthy heirs of His eternal and ineffable Kingdom, what will they feel then? Truly, they will “shine like the sun in the Kingdom of their Father” (Matthew 13:43).
Many wonder whether, at the Last Judgment, even those deeds for which repentance has been offered will be revealed. Judging by the fact that some sins, even of the saints, are already widely known (for example, the adultery and murder committed by the prophet David, or the denial of the apostle Peter), we can say that at the Last Judgment, all deeds—both good and evil—will be made known to all. However, those sins for which true repentance has been offered will not appear as sins but rather as mere events, their guilt entirely covered and atoned for, so that there will be no fear, shame, or punishment for them. For instance, we know that the apostle Peter denied Christ, the apostle Paul was a persecutor, the prophet David committed murder and adultery, and Saint Mary of Egypt led an extremely dissolute life. Yet we are not ashamed of their actions, nor can they be ashamed of them, because they offered true repentance and received complete forgiveness.
We recall the murder committed by David and the murder by Cain, the persecution by Paul and the persecution by Nero. We remember the thief on the cross, who perhaps killed not one but many, and we think of Judas the betrayer, who killed no one but merely pointed out Christ’s whereabouts to His murderers—what an immeasurable difference there is between them, what opposite feelings they evoke in us! This is the significance of repentance versus despair, love versus hardness of heart or hatred. So too, at the Last Judgment, our sins, if we have repented of them, will not be fearful, and we will not have to feel shame or torment for them, even if the whole world learns of them.
Knowing all this, let us strive to avoid committing evil deeds, so that we may not be put to shame on the day of the fearful and just Judgment of Christ. If we have already committed such deeds, let us offer repentance for them. Above all, let us acquire love, mercy, justice, and other virtues, so that God may be merciful to us and pardon us by His grace and loving-kindness.