Attention to One’s Neighbor #
The spiritual life of a Christian is built upon relationships with those around them. The Lord has given us a guiding principle: our faith and love for Him are not measured by outward displays of religiosity, but by our attitude toward our neighbor. The Apostle John put it plainly: “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?” (1 John 4:20). In this way, a Christian can assess the measure of their faith and love for God.
But love or lack of love are concepts that can sometimes seem too vague. A mother who gives her son money for drinking may believe she is doing so out of great love. Or consider the common Cossack saying: “If a husband does not beat his wife, it means he does not love her.” Can this truly be called love? It cannot.
And yet, love is essential—without it, we will never draw near to God. But what is true love for one’s neighbor? The Apostle Paul repeats this to us many times: love is bearing the infirmities of another person. “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good” (Romans 15:1-2). “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Thus, our love and faith in God are expressed through caring for our neighbors and bearing their weaknesses.
What is meant by weakness? We are accustomed to thinking of weakness as a physical ailment, bodily sickness, or frailty. But weakness is not limited to bodily affliction—it encompasses any need or difficulty a person faces. Weakness is the state of being unable to do something, a sense of powerlessness. It is that moment when one requires a helper, when something crucial cannot be accomplished alone. Weakness is, above all, a state of loneliness, when a person is left alone with their hardship.
Yet many people find themselves in such lonely weakness. Look around! Very often, it is our own spouses who are in need. They may feel lonely, neglected. We fail to give them the attention they deserve. We grow accustomed to them, treating them like mere objects. We have nothing to talk about with them, we do not understand them, we do not perceive what is happening in their souls. And so they, our own beloved companions, find themselves in loneliness, in weakness.
Our children, too, are in a state of weakness. We become accustomed to them as well. They become secondary in our lives, coming after our work, our friends, and our leisure. We do not share our free time with them; it is easier for us when the children are outside, at school, at university, with their grandmother, or at a neighbor’s house. And so, little by little, our children find themselves in loneliness, in weakness. At the first opportunity, they run to whoever will welcome them, show them attention, and talk with them.
Our elderly parents are in weakness. Their children have grown up, left the parental home, and have abandoned their forebears in solitude, left alone with their illnesses, worries, and difficulties.
Those who are physically ill, enduring the burden of sickness, are also in weakness. In their suffering, they are utterly alone. No one can truly share in their pain—others may sympathize, offer condolences, but no one wishes to live according to the rhythm of the afflicted. To all around them, they are a burden, a problem. And so, every sick person is lonely.
Those who suffer from mental illness are in weakness. For such sufferers, their solitude is especially tormenting, for their healing directly depends on how much human attention and care they receive. For them, loneliness is devastating and agonizing.
No less in weakness are those who struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. These people are completely alone. Loneliness is the very cause of their affliction. Their passion has cut them off from God, from their family, from all of society. They suffer in solitude…
And there are countless other examples. If we look around, we will see many lonely people.
But how can we help them? What can we do for them? How can we bear their weaknesses? We ourselves are weak, imperfect. We are not very good Christians. We cannot give away all our possessions, we cannot take a homeless stranger into our home, we have no time to visit the sick in the hospital and help those in need, and we cannot imagine how we could go into a prison or who there might need our presence. All of this seems difficult and impossible for us!
Yet still, we can do something. We can bear the weaknesses of others. In order to fulfill the counsel of the Apostle Paul and take up the infirmities of another, we must first recognize these weaknesses. That is, we must turn our attention to the struggles of our neighbor, to notice the needs of those around us. This is the first step in bearing the burdens of others.
After all, we can regularly speak with our spouses, organize shared leisure time, and engage with our children. We can show care for our parents—calling them more often, visiting them, listening to their long advice and reflections, refraining from raising our voices at them, and taking an interest in their perspective on life. We can invite lonely and elderly members of our community into our homes, offer them hospitality, spend time with them, listen to them, and provide them with support and assistance. We can pay attention to the young people who occasionally come to church, those who are searching for their path in life, who may be full of pride and self-importance but who are also deeply lonely. We can show concern for those we know who struggle with mental illness or alcoholism, offering them attention and care, filling their lives with meaning.
By such acts of attention, we can bear the infirmities of the weak. And this is not merely some optional act of charity or a way to ease our own conscience. To share in another’s weakness, to comfort them, to brighten their loneliness—this is our duty. This is our Christian labor.
And if we are always prepared to give our attention to another, then the opportunity and means to do so will surely appear. The key is to be ready. The key is to understand that our salvation depends on our attentiveness to our neighbor. That our faith and love for God are measured by our attitude toward the infirmities of the weak, by our care for those who are frail in body and in spirit.
Pay attention to your neighbors!
Priest Ioann Sevastyanov