Homily on Repentance, or Concerning the Fact That One Ought Not Despair of Salvation #
St. Amphilochius of Iconium
Why is it, O sons of truth, that though you stand here in the Holy and Catholic Church, you cease not from sorrowing? If there be some reason for this, tell me, disclose it to me as beloved children to a father full of love, that you might receive comfort thereby. For it is not fitting for those who from birth have been clothed in Christ, the True God, through holy Baptism, to be afflicted and tormented by grief. May it never be so! The most blessed Paul commands us to rejoice without ceasing, saying: “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men” (Philippians 4:4–5).
What then is the cause of this despondency? Explain it, though even before your explanation I have already understood it clearly: God has revealed it to my ignorance. I know, I know, that the envious devil harasses your hearts with impure and defiled thoughts, and darkens the eye of the soul’s understanding. To some he suggests blasphemous revilings and other dreadful and senseless imaginations. In others he plants heresies and dark sentiments, and being full of malice, he distorts the mysteries of the faith. These he inclines to vanity, and those he arms against the holy icons, declaring them useless and unnecessary. Others he incites to fornication and sensual pleasures and other even more loathsome vices; and especially during church prayer, he wounds the hearts of the fainthearted, of those who lack the strength to resist. Some he leads even to disbelief in the immortal and life-giving Eucharist, troubling them with doubts, whispering that it is but common bread and mere wine, and nothing more.
All these wicked thoughts the dark demon sows with great care, seeking in any way to plunge the hearts of men into unbearable sorrow and grief, to lead them from grief to coldness and sloth, and from sloth into despair. But I beseech you, holy flock of the Great Shepherd Jesus Christ! Do not give yourselves much over to these delusions that come from the demon, and do not make them the subject of your meditation. Only let the thought not be brought into action. Only let not that which is sown in your soul be carried out in deed—and the seed of the enemy shall at once be trampled underfoot.
For just as it is said of a man who hears the Scriptures and learns from them but does not fulfill their teaching, that he tramples the seed of God, so also is he who permits diabolical temptations to enter his mind but performs nothing sinful: such a one tramples the devil’s seed. For as he is not yet holy who hears the Scriptures but does not fulfill their commandments, but only he is holy who both hears and fulfills them—so likewise, he is not yet a sinner who receives suggestions from the devil but does not carry them out, but only he who both accepts and fulfills them. What benefit would you gain if you were to sow year by year and never reap a harvest? You would only suffer labor, and nothing more. Thus also does the devil plant impure thoughts and suggest dreadful blasphemies in order to cast you down and deliver you into the hands of your enemy. For we are enemies of the dark demons. More than all, they hate the race of Christians, because it alone of all peoples turns away from their vanities.
Therefore, when the devil sows sinful thoughts in you, see that you are not scandalized. For he sows in order to reap. But if you do accept his seed—that is, wicked thoughts—then mortify them by the exercise of the Word of God, by spiritual vigilance, by the fear of death, and by trembling remembrance of the judgment to come—and he will reap nothing but chaff and dust. When you thus resist unclean thoughts, you will doubtless prevail. For that savage beast, if he sees that a man, though permitting evil thoughts within, yet does nothing evil, contents himself for the time with merely seeing him troubled and distressed, and says: “Though he does not carry out what I command, it is enough for me that I have torn his heart, and I take delight in that.”
And so, most beloved children—fathers and mothers, and brothers!—from this time forth, guard yourselves against the snares of the enemy. Let us not fall into despondency by constantly reflecting upon the evil that arises from the darkness and temptation of demons. Rather, let us rejoice and be glad, accomplishing spiritual works and hoping that today or tomorrow we shall be translated into the Heavenly Kingdom.
When the devil persistently tempts you with sinful thoughts, do not be grieved by this, and let not your heart grow faint. Do not dissect his cunning in your mind with great attention. But rather, rise up against him with indignation and say: “All the evil that thou incitest me to, O devil, the Lord God shall crush upon thy head, for it comes from thee and shall be counted against thee as sin in the day of judgment; for God sees whence this deceit arises.” Speak thus, and do not further examine wicked thoughts in your mind. But if you carry out the suggestions of the devil, then indeed be sorrowful, mourn, and weep—for you are heading toward eternal fire.
Yet if the devil tempts you with thoughts, and you reject them and do not enact them, why then do you despair? What is it that saddens you? Do not fear. No one who has been well-pleasing to God has entirely escaped this. Even the martyrs were subjected to such things—many similar suggestions were whispered in their ears, yet they were not overcome. The tormentors would say to them, “Deny Christ!” But how did they respond? “No, O Lord our God! May it never be that we should deny Thy goodness.” Shall we say that because they heard, with their physical ears, the command to renounce the Crucified, they were harmed in some way, or turned aside from the path of truth? Shall this be counted to them as sin? By no means. If they had heard such impious words and acted upon them, then they would justly have deserved condemnation. But since they did not obey and did not deny Him, not only were they not condemned, but they received wondrous crowns from Christ our God.
Therefore, beloved, when Satan troubles you and says, “Go, indulge in lust,” turn away from him and say, “Permit it not, O Lord God!” If he urges you, saying, “Destroy this person or that, or even a third,” say: “Permit it not, O Lord God!” If he sets your soul ablaze with the fire of envy, turn away from him without delay. Again, if he stirs you to anger, do not listen. If he agitates you, do not respond, and you will have overcome the adversary. “I was troubled and spake not” (Psalm 76:5), it is written. If he ensnares you with despondency because of your fall, be courageous. If he calls you to vanity, then as a sinner and wretched man, mock him and humble your soul. For the devil often breathes vanity even into those who have done no good deeds at all.
If he entices you to pride, remember who he was and from where he fell; and also, what is man? Lying in the grave, he gives off a stench worse than any beast. Pride consists in this: if you despise the poor, your servants, and those who serve you because they are clothed in rags. If the insolent one incites you to lust, restrain your hand. For this cunning one, unable to cast many into open fornication, has all the more crushed them through hidden acts of lust.
The devil is shameless and tempts man in every way. When he sees someone enslaved to a passion, he presses in and slays him with the weapon of that very passion. Therefore, when he observes in you a love of money, give your excess to the poor—if you have gold or silver. But for your own life, do not be anxious in the least. God, who receives your gift in the face of the poor, will care for you and provide for you even unto your last breath. And if you have nothing, and yet the devil wages war against you, seeking to make your soul greedy for silver, do not strive to gather by unjust means or to seize what belongs to another. For perhaps this will give occasion to justify yourself in a way that seems reasonable.
Again, if the devil kindles and inflames you to enmity against your brother, stirring in you an unbridled fury, impatience, vengeance, and a quickness to evil, beware lest you fall into this blind passion, which relentlessly devours a man. Rather, compel your heart to pray for those who offend you, and immediately malice and hatred—defeated by you—will flee, along with everything akin and similar to them. In this way did all those who were pleasing to the Lord conquer this passion. And in general, if the devil incites you to anything, resist at once and say to him: “No! Never shall I become a lawless doer of thy wicked counsels.” For all the evil that thou dost imagine day and night—know and remember—Satan sows in thee according to his ancient custom, striving by deceit to secretly beguile your senses, and afterward to cast you into the abyss.
But perhaps you will ask, “If the devil has already succeeded in sowing all these passions in me, what then shall I do, burdened and weighed down by such a multitude of sins?” Repent, brother, strive in spiritual labors, and you shall be restored to your former state. But you will say, “I doubt whether I shall be accepted in repentance, for I have defiled holy Baptism and stained the God-woven garment.” That you are defiled—I know, beloved one! Yet repent, and I assure you with firm confidence: you shall be received. We shall reconcile you with God—do not be afraid. You have salvation, you have repentance—only cease from your sinful deeds. Through us the Son of God opens Paradise. Only repent. Only turn back. Though we, the priests, are sinners ourselves, yet Christ our God, in His great good pleasure, has placed the key to Paradise in our humble hands: “Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 18:18). Therefore, repent with hope, and you shall receive forgiveness from Him who has authority on earth to forgive sins.
“But what is repentance?” you ask. “I do not have a clear understanding of it, for I have never practiced it.” Would you like me to explain to you what it is? Do not eat immoderately like the beasts; do not become drunk daily; love fasting and tears; cleave more closely to prayer; attend church more often—and you will find rest for your soul. Do not heed those who say, “What profit is there in praying all day?” The devil teaches some to speak thus, that he might completely weaken the spirit of those who pray. For the race of passions and of demons is cast out by nothing but prayer and true fasting. Therefore, hasten to church; be quick to confess; fall into the arms of God—for the gates of God prefigure the embrace of God the Father. Such is the Church: she rejects no one, but receives all, shelters all in her bosom, comforts all, kisses all, embraces all—for the profit of each one is precious to her. Come and listen, and I will prove to you by another example that you must never utterly despair of your salvation. Let us take an example from the book of the saints, those glorified by ascetic struggle.
A venerable elder once recounted that a certain brother had been overcome by the demon of fornication to such a degree that he very often fell into this sin, but just as often softened the Lord with his tears and prayers. After such repentance, he would fall again, being driven by the force of habit, yet again he would run to the church, and there, gazing upon the honorable and glorious image of our Lord Jesus Christ, he would throw himself down before it with bitter tears, saying: “Lord, have mercy on me! Take away from me this dreadful temptation, for I am overcome by it and grievously wounded, captivated by the bitterness of pleasure. I cannot even lift my face and look boldly upon Thy holy image, O Master, nor behold the honey-flowing beauty of Thy countenance.” After saying this, he would leave the church and again fall into the same pit. Yet even then he did not despair, but hastened back to the church, and cried out again, just as before, to the Lord who loves mankind. For many years he did this: he did not cease to sin, but he also did not cease to repent.
One day this man made a vow to the Merciful God: “O Lord! From this time forth I make Thee my surety that I will never again commit this sin. Only, O Good One, forgive the offenses I have committed from the beginning until now.” But even after making such a dreadful vow, he again fell into the sin. Here is seen the inexpressible love of mankind on the part of God and His boundless goodness, patiently bearing the brother’s countless transgressions, and by the multitude of His mercy seeking his repentance and waiting for the moment when he would come to utterly hate his sinful habit. Moreover, not one year, nor two, nor three passed in this way—but ten years, or even more.
Behold, beloved, the immeasurable patience, the boundless compassion of the Lord—how He always shows long-suffering, how He is merciful, how He bears with our dreadful transgressions. And this even when we miserable creatures mock Him! Here one must marvel at the richness of God’s mercy. The brother made a promise before God not to sin, and shortly afterward was shown to be a liar! For upon leaving the church, he broke his vow by committing sin. In this, one cannot but see the infinite goodness of the Man-befriending God, who even overlooks the prophetic word: “Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing” (Psalm 5:6).
But listen now with attentiveness, I beg you—for these words are not hard to understand, as you often say when hearing other teachings, and complain: “Because he speaks obscurely, we cannot understand.” But now the speech is plain, and the story most useful. Therefore, double your attention.
One day, after falling again through the force of evil habit, the brother went to the church. It is justly said: habit is like a debt. If one grows accustomed to sin, he sins involuntarily and without desire, compelled by habit as by a creditor. And so, after committing sin, he quickly went to the church, cast himself face-down upon the ground, wept, lamented, groaned, and begged the Merciful Master to have compassion on him and extend a helping hand, that he might draw himself out of the uncleanness of lust. While he did this, the devil, seeing that he was gaining nothing—for what he wove together with sin, the brother unraveled by hope in the Lord—shamelessly appeared before the brother’s eyes.
Entering the church after him and standing at the door, the devil saw him lying prostrate in tears. Then, turning to the holy image of our Lord Jesus Christ, he roared aloud: “What hast Thou to do with me, Jesus Christ? Thy compassion is boundless. Thou dost overcome me and cast me down by the multitude of Thy mercies and Thy immeasurable goodness. Why dost Thou receive this fornicator, this unclean lover of pleasure, this man darkened and defiled from head to foot, who deceives Thee daily, mocks Thy power, and scorns Thy Lordship, breaking the word of truth? Why dost Thou not strike him with Thy dreadful lightning, but rather dost wait, and forbear, and show condescension? We have heard that Thou shalt judge fornicators and adulterers—yet Thou wilt not destroy even a single sinner! Truly, Thou art an unjust Judge, and at Thy pleasure Thou bendest judgment and regardest iniquity. For pride—an offense not so great—Thou didst cast me headlong from heaven to the abyss without mercy. But this one, who is a liar, a fornicator, a lover of lust, a drunkard and a glutton—because he falls before Thee weeping, Thou incline Thine ear to him, showest him Thy meek majesty, and rushest to forgive him! Why then is Thy name called ‘the Righteous Judge’? I see that Thou, in Thy great mercy, dost regard persons, and that there is no justice in Thy judgment!”
So spoke the devil in such fury that flame issued from his mouth. After the mad one fell silent, a voice came forth from the altar, like the echo of mighty thunderclaps, and more terrible still. And the Lord said to him: “O crafty and murderous serpent! Is not thy malice satisfied, that thou hast devoured the whole world, O deceitful one? And now thou wouldst seize and devour even him who has clung to the ineffable mercy of My compassion, O greedy one! Dost thou reckon his sins so great that they balance against My Most Pure Blood, which I shed for him upon the Cross? Behold, My Passion, My death, and My Blood have obtained mercy for his lesser faults. And thou thyself, when he goes toward sin, dost not drive him away, but gladly receive him, hoping to possess him, and wouldst not refuse to claim him as thine own. And shall I, the Good and Merciful One, whose mercy is unfathomable, who commanded My disciple and apostle Peter to forgive seventy times seven in a day—shall I not have mercy? Shall I not pity? Shall I not forgive? No! For he flees to Me, and I shall not turn away from him until I have gained him. For I was crucified for the harlots, the lawless, the sinners; My Most Pure Hands I spread out for their sake, that whosoever desires to be saved might come and be saved. I turn away from none and drive no one from My goodness—even if he comes to Me a thousand times in a day and departs again, and again returns. For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
As this voice went forth, the devil could neither flee nor vanish. Then again came a voice: “Hear, O deceiver, also that for which thou dost accuse. I am righteous, and I judge each according to what I find in him. Behold, I have found this man in repentance, in confession, and in righteousness—for he lies at My feet and has become thy conqueror. Therefore I shall receive his spirit and number his soul among the saints, for in all these many years he has not despaired of his salvation, but has gained firm hope in My goodness. And thou—see now the glory of his soul and be tormented by envy and jealousy, O destroyer!”
Then the brother, lying face down in tears and sobbing, gave up his spirit. And at once, vengeance in the form of consuming fire descended upon Satan and devoured him—because he had not been ashamed before the Lord God.
Here is your proof! This one example alone would be sufficient. But, beloved, I wish to offer you another, equally beneficial, clearly showing that God turns away from none who draw near to Him. I shall now present this next example from the book of the Fathers.
A certain great elder had so far overcome demonic temptations that he no longer struggled with them mentally, but beheld with his own eyes both angels and demons—how the former labored for the salvation of mankind, and the latter for its ruin. He was so high and exalted in spirit that he remained untroubled even when beholding the unclean spirits. Often he would rebuke them and bring them to shame by reminding them of the fiery Gehenna prepared for them. At last, the dark demons themselves spread the word among each other concerning the elder and resolved in their council that from that time forth none of them should speak with him, lest he harm one of them by his great detachment, for he had attained to wondrous dispassion. Truly, the elder had been, as it were, deified by the All-Holy Spirit.
So then, while the elder remained firm and the demons trembled, one of them said to another: “Brother Zerepher” (for such was this demon’s name), “if any of us demons were to repent, would God accept him or not? Who knows this? Tell me.” Zerepher replied, “If you like, I will go to that great elder who fears us not and inquire of him.” “Go,” said the other, “but take care—he is clairvoyant, and he will discern your deceit, for he never fails to ask counsel from his God. Yet go; perhaps you will succeed in your aim, and if not, then return, having done your part.”
Zerepher then went to the elder and, putting on a deceptive appearance, began to weep and sob before him like a man. And God, wishing to show that He turns away no one, but receives all who approach Him, did not this time reveal to the elder that it was the devil who had come to tempt him. The elder looked upon him as an ordinary man. Seeing this, he said: “Who are you, O man? And what has happened to you, that you weep so bitterly and cry out so?” “Holy father,” the devil answered, “I am not a man, but a wicked demon, as I acknowledge myself to be because of the multitude of my sins.” The elder asked: “Then what do you want from me?”—thinking that the man called himself a demon out of humility, for the Lord had not yet revealed the deception to him.
The demon said: “Nothing more than that you would entreat your God to tell you whether He will accept a demon into repentance. For I was never baptized, and consider myself as a demon.” The elder replied: “Go home for today, and come back to me tomorrow, and I will give you an answer.”
That very evening, the elder stretched forth his holy hands and prayed to the Man-Befriending God, saying: “Master, Lord, Good and Merciful, who willest that all men be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth, hear me at this hour and reveal to Thy unworthy servant: wilt Thou accept even one who has surpassed demons in wickedness?” After these words, suddenly, like lightning, the Angel of the Lord appeared before him and said: “Thus says the Lord: Why have you asked My power concerning the demon? For he came with deceit to tempt you.”
The elder asked: “Why then did the Lord God not reveal the truth to me?” The angel replied: “Be not troubled. The economy of salvation required it for the benefit of sinners, that the inexpressible love of mankind in God might be made manifest—that He turns none away who draw near to Him, even if it be a demon or Satan himself, or any one of that ruinous number. At the same time, this was permitted so that the unrepentant despair of the demons might also be revealed. Therefore, when the tempter comes to you again, do not immediately expose him. First say to him: ‘Know this: the Man-Befriending God never rejects anyone who comes to Him, and He has revealed that you may be accepted—if you will do what I shall command you.’ When he hears this and asks what the command is, say to him: ‘Thus has God commanded: I know who you are and from whence you came to tempt Me. You are the ancient evil, the inaccessible pride. How then can you offer true repentance? Still, so that you may have no excuse at the judgment, hear how you must begin your repentance. The Lord says: for three years remain in one place without departing from it. Day and night, facing the east, cry out: “Lord, have mercy on me, the ancient evil!” And one hundred times more say aloud: “Have mercy on me, dark delusion!”’ Say to him: ‘When you have fulfilled this with proper humility, then you shall be numbered with the angels of God. If he agrees to this, receive him into repentance. But know that the ancient evil does not become the new good. And what shall come of it in the end—record it, so that those who wish to repent may not despair. Let all men be assured from this example that they must never hastily despair of their salvation.’”
Having spoken thus, the Angel of God ascended into heaven. On the next day, early in the morning, the devil came again, from afar appearing once more in the guise of a weeping man and begging the elder for mercy. But the elder did not immediately expose his deception. In his heart, he said: “You have come at an evil hour, you predator-devil, venomous scorpion, ancient evil, tyrant, monster!” Then he said aloud: “Know this: I asked God, as I promised. God will receive you in repentance—if you fulfill that which He, the Mighty and All-Powerful, has commanded you.”
The demon asked: “And what has He commanded me to do?”
The elder replied: “He has commanded that you stand in one place for three years without moving, and by day and night proclaim aloud one hundred times each these words: ‘O God, be merciful unto my wretchedness!’ And again, one hundred times more: ‘O God, have mercy on me—the ancient evil!’ And yet again, a third hundred times: ‘O God, save me, the darkened and accursed!’ If you do this, God will accept your repentance and number you again with His angels.”
The demon Zerepher laughed greatly at these words and said: “If I wished to call myself ‘wretchedness’ and ‘ancient evil,’ and ‘dark delusion’ and ‘accursed,’ I would have done so from the very beginning and would have been saved at once. But now—shall I call myself ancient evil? Impossible! For now I am robed in glory. All serve me, all fear and tremble before me. And now I shall call myself wretchedness and delusion and ancient evil? No, elder, no. Shall I—who reign over all sinners—become a worthless slave, a humble penitent? No, elder, no!”
Having said this, the unclean demon cried aloud and vanished.
The elder, seeing this, arose to pray and said: “Indeed, the Angel spoke truly: the ancient evil does not become the new good.”
All this, my beloved, I have not recounted to you without purpose, but so that you may know the great and inexpressible mercy and boundless goodness of the Lord. If even a repentant devil would have been accepted, then all the more shall He accept men who run to Him—those for whom He shed His own Blood. For had the devil truly said and done what was commanded of him by the holy elder, the Lord would not have broken His promise, but in His unspeakable mercy would have received him. But since the devil mocked the command, he will be condemned to the most grievous torment on the day of judgment—that dreadful day for the wicked demons, and even more dreadful for those among them who surpass the rest in evil.
God will also more severely punish people who behave similarly, who tempt the Lord.
Are you a sinner? Then repent. If you will not, you shall be tormented in Gehenna even more than the demons themselves—if you do not take heed and cast off your burden of sins before death. But you say, “I am afraid, for I think there is no salvation for me.” What are you saying, man? When you commit fornication, do you not think God could strike you dead with lightning? But He delays, beloved, that you might come to wisdom and, repenting, cleanse yourself from your passion. For however death finds a man, so shall it bear him to the afterlife. If you die as a slave to the devil, you are wretched in the life to come. But if you free yourself from sin before death, your portion shall be blessed in the age to come, and you shall go to the Lord.
There was once a certain experienced monk, who had served God for forty years and had received the gift of raising the dead and healing every sickness and infirmity by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Having reached such a degree of perfection, he was nevertheless tempted, became a fornicator and a murderer. But observe how he again obtained his former gifts through repentance! Turning away from sin and lifting up his soul, laboring in tears, prayers, and fasting, he regained the power to work miracles. Do you see the power of repentance? Do you see the longsuffering of the Master?
While this blessed man was undergoing the labor of repentance, a complete drought came upon the land—no rain at all, and an extreme famine. All the people fasted, prayed, and kept vigil, but nothing could be accomplished. The ascetics pleaded, the pastors interceded, the priests, monks, and laypeople alike supplicated—but God would not heed anyone.
What happened then? The power of repentance was finally made manifest from above. A voice thundered from heaven: “I will not hear you. I will not hear. But go to My servant Jacob. Let him pray, and I shall send rain.”
What was the result? O, the new miracle of repentance! God Himself entreats the one who repents. Pray, He says, and I shall grant rain. Both God and the people beg the penitent: Speak the word, O servant of the Lord! Speak, and give us, the forsaken, rain! The monk, hearing this, was terrified, for he had not dared to hope that his repentance had been accepted.
Do you see the humility born of repentance? He who once fell through pride and arrogance, beguiled by the beauty of his own righteousness, is now exalted through repentance. And thus the people begged him to pray, that he might obtain rain for them; but he refused, considering himself unworthy. What then did they do? Again they cried out to God, and they heard in reply: “Unless My servant prays, I will not listen to you.” Therefore they began once more to entreat the righteous one with bitter tears, that he might pray. At last, barely yielding, he lifted up his hands on high and offered prayer to the Lord—and immediately the earth was filled with abundant rain, so that rivers which had been dry began to flow again, and the outpouring of water could not be restrained for a long time.
Do you see the glory of repentance? Marvelous is its power! Therefore let us take it up as swiftly as we can, for there is nothing equal to it, nothing comparable, nothing more swift to heal the wounds of the soul. Let us begin our repentance while we yet live—for it is given to us only in this life, so long as we bear this mortal body. For slothfulness in this present world shall bring dreadful sorrow on the day of judgment to those who slumber in it.
And so, I implore you: let us labor in spiritual struggles, let us bring our bodies into subjection through toil and the labors of the spirit, that with great diligence and effort, having gathered what is good and profitable for the journey, we may pass over into the life that has no end, in Christ Jesus our Lord.
To Him be glory and dominion, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.